December 2009
3 posts
Alison wants to know if you are going to take the...
Wendy: how do people in new york feel about that "Empire State" song by Jay-Z?
Alison: mostly I hear negative reactions to it
Wendy: I feel like if someone wrote a song about LA, I'd be like, cool it
Alison: and by that I mean I read negative reactions on twitter
Wendy: of COURSE you love New York. you're a fucking billionaire
Alison: yeah
Wendy: you can buy a taxi and drive it around central park. right? that's what people do in new york?
Alison: that's the dream, yes. to own your own taxi
Wendy: young broadway dancers say, "someday i'll buy a taxi and drive it around central park!"
Alison: it's what so many songs are about
Wendy: then i'll buy a subway car and ride it to see the statue of liberty with rudolph giuliani! and the musical "Cats."
Alison: I'm going to one day own my own subway car and then I'll charge exorbitant rates to give people rides. I"ll be like Daddy Warbucks. if he had anything to do with subways
Wendy: he did
Alison: I suspected he did
Wendy: that's why they call subways "warbucks"
Alison: Ah! I never made the connection before
Wendy: there you go
Alison: when I'm in a rush I just say I"m going to take the 'bucks
Wendy: yes. you do say that
Alison: like are you going to call a friend who owns a cab or are you going to take the 'bucks
Ethnic Vampires!
fuckingbookdeal:
I feel like a French vampire with two giant baguette teeth is in order.
September 2009
1 post
Ha ha ha →
July 2009
2 posts
If you build it, they will come, and then you can... →
June 2009
3 posts
And everytime Michael Bay and James Frey high-five... →
WatchFinally, a network show about a quirky detective.
My pal Alison Rosen has interviewed me for her high-tech web show, The Daily Alison. Warning: it contains scandalous revelations about my inability to smoke out of a bong correctly. Also, I say that when I get married, I want it to be just like that interview. Then I say “I’m already married” but Alison talks at the same time so you can’t hear me say it. So, Jeff, if you...
May 2009
6 posts
3 tags
Things Other Than “Your Laws” I’d Like You To Keep Off My Body
This anvil
Those hungry chickens
That Honeybaked ham
This is what makes the internet funny.
I love that a full grown man took time out of his day to read the article about Maya Rudolph having a second baby, and then he wrote this in the comments:
Mike Bunte2:55 pm
Congratulations to Maya and her family! I do have to point out an error in this article, though. In the last sentence, it should read, “more than,” not “more then.” It always puzzles me when...
April 2009
13 posts
And the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day. →
Your NPR Name →
marklisanti:
liana:
So finally, after years of Fresh Air sign-off ambitions, we came up with a system for creating our own NPR Names. Here’s how it works: You take your middle initial and insert it somewhere into your first name. Then you add on the smallest foreign town you’ve ever visited.
Ewendy Simigau
David Iserson has a blog. →
You should read it. Yes, all five of you.
It’s good news that David has finally elected to maintain a web presence.
But it’s bad news because I told him I’d buy him a pony if he started a blog.
But it’s good news because I stipulated that I can make a pony out of anything I choose.
But it’s bad news because I feel like I have no idea how much it’s going to...
Click here, scroll down, download my entire book... →
“I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set...”
– Steve Martin (via napoleonsbattleplan) (via allthelatestmoves) (via chrisgarcia)
This made me laugh. →
March 2009
10 posts
Warning: Do or do not do something.
Tonight I went to my friend’s birthday dinner at a Greek restaurant in the valley. In the bathroom, they had a large sign that said in big red letters:
IMPORTANT!
And then someone had removed all of the instructions that were supposed to go under it.
So I was supposed to either do or not do something but I have no way of knowing if I did or did not do it.
These are the kinds of things...
Ding dong. →
Oops. Lipstick Jungle died. I once spent two very dark weeks of my life working on a promo campaign for that show. I had to watch six episodes of it, and then I had to go to a nervous hospital in the early 1900s for a nice rest, and then they let me back out just in time to work on a campaign for My Own Worst Enemy.
How’s that show doing?
What’s that you say?
These videos are pretty much the 30 Rock of the... →
1 tag
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.